Family Matters

Hi, everyone:) It's such a busy time of year! I really need to take the time to blog more since it lessens my stress:) I feel like I'm doing one of those dear diary things:)I haven't used a diary in years. The one I kept as a teenager ended up getting me into some trouble. The funny thing is that I didn't even tell my own diary the whole truth and how I was feeling at the time. Isn't that the point of one? Anyway, I liked to pretend that things were ok. I've never told anyone about the deepest secrets I have kept all these years. My husband, Jason, knows more than anyone else, but I haven't shared them even with him. There were lots of bad things that happened in my life while I was growing up. Things that I choose not to share, even now. Most of them, I can talk to my sister, Casey, about, but even she doesn't know it all and she's probably the closest relative that I have. I guess I've been thinking about family & growing up a lot lately with the holidays and all. Also, we have a family feud of sorts going on, so Thanksgiving & Christmas & all that are gonna be a little different this year.

On Thanksgiving, I worked from 5 a.m. until 3 p.m. Then I went home & showered & left with my family to my husband's grandmother's house. We had a nice night, but something was missing. For the past several years, my mom does the lunch thing on Thanksgiving & Christmas day. She plans this since the rest of us have our spouse's family gathering in the evening. Normally, I work 5 a.m. til 11 a.m. Jason & the kids usually meet me at work, then we head to Rapid River. Thanksgiving there includes my parents (married for 31 years), myself, my husband of 9 years, Jason, my son, Brett, my daughter, Alexia, my brother, Dave, his wife, Shannah, their son, L'il D, my sister, Casey, her boyfriend, Tom, their sons, Ovid, Logan, and Ethan, my youngest sister, Tricia, her husband, Greg, and their daughters, Cassidy & Cadence. Tricia is also expecting twins any time between now & Christmas. That's a pretty big gathering - ten adults, eight kids from 10-1 1/2, and 2 unborn. Anyway, it should have been a great holiday with the whole family together:) Just like always. Well, things weren't just like always. Things were VERY different.

As I already told you how I spent my holiday, I will tell you how the others spent theirs. My mom went to Clintonville to my sister, Tricia's house to spend the holiday with her & her family. My sister, Casey, went to Illinois, to spend the holiday with Tom's family. My brother, Dave, went to Gladstone to spend the holiday with Shannah's family. My dad stayed home all by himself. What a mess!!!

As siblings go, I'd say we're pretty typical. I, as the oldest, was always sort of the roll model. Of course, I wasn't always the best role model, but I don't think I was too bad:) I had my share of being grounded & all, but I had excellent grades & never got into too much trouble. I was always pretty close with my brother, Dave, who is less than 2 years younger than me. We played together quite often - mostly because when we were little, there were no other kids aroung:) We played baseball, barbies, GI Joe, climbed trees, etc. we were together 24/7 - best friends:) At this time, my sisters were too little to play with us. When Casey got older, she obviously wanted to do exactly what Dave & I did:) Sometimes it was fun, but sometimes it wasn't. My youngest sister, Tricia, sorta got left behind most of the time. I guess she was with my mom quite a bit. My mom was a stay-at-home mother until I was about 13 or 14. I guess she got used to taking care of Tricia as the rest of us didn't seem to need her as much. We always had each other. I'd say we got pretty used to being together and didn't think too much about including Tricia in our games.

This may be a big part of why she turned out like she did. Tricia likes to be in charge of everything now that we're older. If we were planning a family get-together, she decided everything: where it was, who was invited, what we were gonna eat, etc. As the years passed, this made the rest of us a little mad. But, naturally, instead of trying to talk to her about this, we b*****ed about it & her behind her back - as family typically will do. Let's not make waves, but the need to vent to each other was too strong to ignore.

Well, this past June was my sister, Casey's, youngest son, Ethan's, birthday. He tured 1:) We all went to Clintonville to celebrate. It was a very nice birthday party:) Casey had a pinata for the older kids & we got some nice pics of the 8 grandchildren all together - which doesn't happen often enough:( Anyway, the following weekend, we were planning my grandma's birthday party. This was her first birthday without my grandpa who passed away in February. Anyway, Tricia & her family were staying at my house for the weekend - 4th of July. Grandma's birthday is on the 5th. which was Sunday. They came up Friday night. Saturday night, I was in the kitchen & she was sitting on the floor in the livingroom. I remarked how nice Ethan's birthday party was. My sister made a comment about Ethan being more favored over the older two boys. Well, my sister's two oldest boys are not her boyfriend's kids. But I can tell you that you wouldn't know it if you saw them together! Tom does a wonderful job taking care of my nephews. They were in need of discipline and a male role model. I think Tom is the best thing that's happened to my nephews since their father walked out on my sister & them! Well, I was really upset about Tricia's remark.

Well, to make a long story slightly shorter, I told Casey what Tricia had said. Partly because I was angry that she would say that when I don't agree in the slightest and partly because if my nephews were lacking something, I felt the need to know and provide it for them if possible. I love those kids! All of my neices and nephews mean the world to me. Casey is a stay-at-home mom and money is alittle tight sometimes, so if the boys needed new shoes or whatever, I would get them some. When Brett grows out of his clothes, they go to the boys. They are always Ovid's favorites because he idolizes Brett so much:) He's very cute:)

So now the emails start:( Casey sent Tricia an email that she didn't appreciate her talking about her family like that and if she had something to say, she should tell her. Tricia emailed my mom that I had lied to Casey & Casey sent a nasty email to her. My mom emailed me asking what I had said to Casey. Mom emailed Casey denying Tricia had said what I told her. Emails flew back and forth between us. Feelings got hurt. My brother tried to stay out of this, but, of course, got sucked in. My mom told Tricia to block our calls and emails. Things got way out of hand. We have not spoken to each other since. My mom & sister, Tricia, against Casey, Dave, our families, and me.

Shortly after the "Fight" began, I was getting over my anger. I am not someone who stays mad long. I get over things so quickly, sometimes too quickly as Jason says. He, of course, is fully on my side. He knows exactly how I've felt all these years and everything that's happened. I went to my brother's house 2 or 3 weeks after the incident & let my kids go over to my parents', who live next-door. I wasn't ready to talk to my mom yet, but I didn't want my kids to be punished when it had nothing to do with them. They had a nice visit and came back to my brother's when they were told.

The following week, my parents had a sit-down talk with my sister-in-law, Shannah. Shannah had been trying to stay out of the fight, but it seems they were determined to drag her into it. She told Casey who called me. Casey was so upset! Anyway, Shannah told us it didn't matter. Family is family. She is the greatest sister-in-law in the world! I'm glad I don't have two brothers because the other one's wife wouldn't compare to Shannah:)

So now we are making our holiday plans - just my family, Dave's family, & Casey's family. We did a gift exchange between the 6 kids. We got Ethan and Logan's names. We are trying to figure out when we can all get together as I work, Shannah works, and Casey lives in Clintonville. Plus, she only has her 2 oldest boys every other weekend. It's been difficult, but I think we're celebrating Christmas on the 12th. It will be great! It will be different than the past years, but it will still be nice. I'm really not sure what to do about the "fight". There have been some bad things said and done lately, so I don't see us making up and spending Christmas together this year which is sad. This really needs to end, but I'm not sure how to do it or even if it's possible. I think it was like everything that was blown off before just exploded and people said everything that they never said before and hurt everyone. But, unfortunately, it's the kids who are being punished the most:(

Well, I think I've talked enough for one day. I've been careful not to mention any of this on the blog before, but it's eating away everything else.

In other news, I forgot to tell you, Jason got a 7-pointer & an 8-pointer this deer season! He gave both of them to his brother, Kevin, as we don't eat a lot of venison, and we sure as heck couldn't afford to process one let alone two! He's pretty excited:)

I'll try to post more often:) We've got the kids' Christmas programs next week and they are on Winter break from 12/21-14.

Have a great day & I hope all of your families are well:) My prayers are with you all:)Peace & joy this holiday season:)